I pinched myself. Why? Because I wrote and deleted the first three introductory paragraphs for this article. I find them all too heavy to read. So I decided to cut short this and go directly with what I intend to write about. And yes, I’ll include myself on this.
Maybe once or twice a week, I find myself at Saint James The Greater Parish. Either to say my prayers or just to meet some friends for something. At the same occasions, I always walk past church’s main entrance where bulletins are posted, announcing and reminding people of “this” and “that”. Among those glass panel bulletins, there’s one that never fail to lock my feet with chain from immediately walking away and that never fail to have my attention -the bulletin with photos and names of beautiful souls who are getting married at certain month.
Staring at them, I admit being happy for them. And at the back of my head, I also wonder about the reasons that made them to spill the beans to say “I Do”. Yeah, what about it? Definitely, “I love him/her” is what we’ll always hear. But, are there any other reasons for that?
What are the nagging reasons then for people to get married? Let’s have them this way.
You’re Getting Old
Like what I’ve mentioned at the other article, The Problems With Growing Old Single, nobody wants to grow old alone. And yes, there’s no denying it. By the time we hit the end of the calendar, people around us, particularly our parents, will almost kick us out of the house to get them an “in-law”. For one, they won’t get tired of reminding us how happy they will be to have a granddaughter or grandson to look-after during their retirement days.
As others would usually say, getting old also means missing the last train bound for eternal happiness with someone. This pushes deeper the pressure on us. Much more when you see your classmates and batch mates having their great marriage-life story to tell.
Today, we made a wedding coverage. After which, I had a short nap at a friend’s crib then went home to see my mother. Reaching home, Mom immediately started asking about a girl whom she met in one of gigs. She kept on asking me if I was courting that girl and started counting my age at her fingers. And boom! She told me, “You’re getting old. It’s nice to have a family. Go get that girl!”. She then turned the table narrating Dad’s predicaments marrying her at older age. No, there’s no suffering of any sort. It’s just that he wanted to see us all having our own family before he passed away. I was the “last man standing”. And it appears like I am bound to repeat history.
Family Of Two
When couple gets married, the next thing on the list is to have children. There’s nothing more to a complete family but to have kids. And having kids is another thing that nags a person to get married.
Why is that? Still anchoring on the thought of “getting old”, one of our greatest fears is not to have kids due to old age. Well, I can’t speak much of medical terms on this, but I believe we all know and understand that. But I would like to pin down one thing on this.
The period of being a bachelor has taken and exposed us with so many things that life can offer. There’s this fully loaded work schedule beating us black and blue. And there’s this lifestyle and vices that’s consuming a big chunk of our health conditions. In the end, not long before we knew it, we’re no longer physically fit with dead body chemicals to have the pleasure of having a kid. And if you got this right, I don’t think we’ll longer before starting our own family, and just a family of two.
Okay, so you’re earning a lot. Where are you taking them anyway? Maybe there’s a better way to spend them. What will that be? With a family.
When we graduated from college, getting a job was the priority. Assuming we landed on better paying job and was able to support and established our first family. They’re fine now. What’s next? Let your money sleep in bank? Spend them with leisurely with friends? How about getting married and make a good run of your money with your family? That would be the best investment ever.
One-man, One-woman Family. Wait, it’s not about being faithful, but probably the other way around or for other reasons. This is how it is.
So, unexpectedly, someone walked away from you and leaving you with a baby. You’re left on your own. In other words, you ended up a Single Dad or a Single Mom. Some of us may survive rearing the baby alone, but not everyone can do that.
At the baby’s early age, we’ll probably keep our hearts out sight from others. Lines and ideas like love, being in-love again, and loving someone might never find their way into our system. Maybe because we’re still hurting, we’re denying their existence, and maybe because we are too much consumed with taking care of our baby. But how long will that be?
I once read a friend’s status in her Facebook account. She posted “d aman cguro masamang mgmahal ang mga kagaya naming ngkamali n dati s larangan ng pag ibig,sabi nga nila kun san k nadapa dun k din bumangon,lets set aside our fears,worries and sadness….lets be 24/7 INLOVE….Loveupapi…” (we may have failed in terms of love the first time, but it’s not wrong to fall in love again. just like what others say, get back on your feet where you fell…”). And that’s what I call keeping the faith on love. And I commend her for being strong and for finding the strength to love again despite life’s adversaries for a long time. Now, she’s smiling as ever having a partner who is giving back the love she’s giving. The point is, one’s status can’t stop one’s heart to love again.
Life is a highway. We’re always on it. But for every journey that we take, there will always be a time for us to settle down, and that is getting married.
So, what’s you’re reason for getting married? Who? Me? Please don’t ask me.